Wednesday, March 17, 2010

day sixteen: resolution

I took the Polaroid down in my room,
I'm pretty sure you have a new girlfriend...
it's not as if I don't like you,
it just makes me sad whenever I see it...

cuz I like to be gone most of the time,
and you like to be home most of the time.
if I stay in one place I lose my mind
I'm a pretty impossible lady to be with...

this song describes our relationship perfectly right now. and I have a random quote in my head.
"the rest of us had nothing to do but wait. wait to die, wait to live, wait for an absolution...that would never come."
idk anymore...I give up. peace.



¡[dommie•vicious]!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

day nine: sleep.

so...because I'm a sleepy lazy person, this is all I'm gonna post today. I had an okay day, couldve been better. now it's time to get some sleep. night.




TETRIS FAIL!!


¡[dommie•vicious]!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

day eight: want.

hey there :) we left off with me dating tyshone...
it was around this time that I realized I was seriously in love with James.
not a day went by that I didn't talk to him. but I had a boyfriend, and I didn't want to cheat. again.
this is where the story gets recent.
so about two months pass, I talk to James every day, we joke, we flirt. sometimes we would talk about how sex would be with eachother. but the point is; I loved him. I looked at him as mine. I watched over him, I didn't want any other girl to talk to him.
the truth is, he wasn't mine. I couldn't call any claim to him at all. I had tyshone, shouldn't that be enough?
no.
I had been keeping James so closely clutched to my heart, I forgot that he could get up and walk away at any time he pleased.
that's when I learned about Brooke.
James had been telling me about her often. she lives in tonawanda, she's blonde, and she's pretty stupid. at first, I thought nothing of it. but then he told me that I wasn't allowed to talk to her. that pissed me off. who was he to tell me who I could or couldn't talk to?? so of course I talked to her anyways. just a simple conversation, to test her. James was right. she is simple. but he found out about our little conversation, and I was in trouble.







lol jthm ^^

¡[dommie•vicious]!

Monday, March 8, 2010

day seven: fungus

hey, sorry I didn't post over the weekend, I was busy ^^
so we left off our story with me having sex with armand....

things spread around quickly in school, but most people either didn't care or didn't think it was true. so I thought everything was gonna be okay. I was single, and I was ready to claim James as mine. so I asked him out.
"first play me in chess" he said.
"if you win, I'll date you."
that pissed me off. he would risk our whole relationship over a chess game? that made me feel like I didn't matter to him at all...he often makes me feel that way. soon after that, James told me he "felt like he wasn't getting enough attention" from me. so you know what he does? he goes and kisses this other ugly girl named Alexis. was pissed off, yet again. this is where me and James start to get help from an outside source named Dane. or Kyle. or whatever you wanna call him. think of him as a sort of...marriage councelor. only we're not married, and he doesn't really help the problem. he's just someone to tell our story to, and maybe get advice from. on a good day.
so I was angry at James often, and I decided I was going to find another suitor. someone worthy, a challenge. my eyes immediately locked on tyshone. he was exactly what I was looking for. intelligent, but oblivious. interesting, and strong. but sadly, he was no James. I went for it anyways. I asked him out. and he actually said:
"no"
"but why? I know you like me@
"and so does kahlil. I can't betray my friend"
I was slightly frustrated at this minor set back. but I always love a good chase. I tried asking nicely, didn't work. I tried arguing, didn't work. I tried seducing, almost worked, but still no. I had only one card left in my hand; manipulation. I had to bend the situation to my liking. I went to kahlil, and in my most innocent voice I asked:
kahlil? you love me right?"
"yes, I do." he said
"and you want me to be happy?"
"more than anything else"
"then you should tell tibbs that it's okay for me and him to date."
and just like that, the spoiled princess gets her way again :)
so I had tyshone, but James was still there, in my heart. plucking tiny strings, bending me to his will.




stay awsome pplz.

¡[dommie•vicious]!

Friday, March 5, 2010

day four: complications

hey there, i just got home from school. had fun with nick at my school, lmao he got hazed xD Ty did this cool thing with string, lol he cut through a chair! that was amazing. then we left school...I noticed James had something on his mind. but he wouldn't tell me.
okay, so we left off with me dating armand and James is still there. this is where the story gets complicated....
I would text him every day, and we got friendlier with eactother. I already had a strong sexual pull, so of course our conversations got a little...intense lol











even though I had a boyfriend at the time, I didn't count it as cheating because there was no physical interaction between us, just talk. over time, our conversations started to build up a sexual tension between us. and it needed to be satisfied. one day after school, I was walking with James to the train station. one thing led to another, and I ended up on his lap, making out with him. it was enthralling. then, one Sunday, I was hanging out with James downtown. I'm not gonna get into details, but it ended withhis hands in my pants >.<"
cheating on armand kinda made me feel bad, so I broke up with him. i didn't feel bad at all lol but for some reason, I wasn't content and I chose to mess around with another guy named kahlil. I didn't date him, but I made out with him like everyday. in november, I decided to have sex with armand. twice. that's when things started to get really bad...

¡[dommie•vicious]!


Thursday, March 4, 2010

day 3.5: restlessness.

it's just after 8pm while I'm writing this. I just got off the phone with James. sometimes I think he doesn't feel the same about me...I bet if you follow this story you think I'm obsessed with him lol. but he is just one of my worlds, he just happens to be the one that i'm always stressed out about for some reason or another. you see, we're exactly the same, but also completely different. i found a picture that kinda describes it.







the same, and different. the same image, but turned into a distorted reflection. that's kinda how it is. (random change of subject) so nick is gonna shadow at my school tomorrow. too bad it's not a gym day, or else I'd have my peoples jump him lol. well I guess I've had enough of this for tonight, I'll continue my story tomorrow...ps, fish are friends, not food!!


¡[dommie•vicious]!

day 3: welcome to the jungle

right now it's really early in the morning, but since I don't have much free time today (school, air rifle practice, etc.) this will probably be posted sometime tonight. I left off my story at my first encounter with James...

against my friends' wishes, I continued to talk to James. they told me he was a hoe, and that he only wanted sex from me. I didn't care what they said. I started to notice him more and more in school. I saw him every day in the assembly hall, before third period, in lunch, and I even had gym with him every other day. we talked more and more, and I discovered that he was a very interesting person. he was intelligent, a little psyco, and he actually liked rock music. well, heavy metal anyways. the more i knew about him, the more he became more like me. I shouldve asked him out right then, but I didn't. I chose to make this guy armand my boyfriend.






that's armand. I know, he looks weird.

so anyways, my relationship with armand was average. we never saw eachother outside school, he treated me almost like a friend, not a girlfriend. we talked on the phone, facebook, texting, etc. but all the while James was there, watching, waiting. i got his number and we started to text and talk on the phone every day. we got closer, and closer. then one day, I broke....


¡[dommie•vicious]!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

day two: my story.

so...I created this blog to help me vent and deal with problems in my crappy life right now. so there's this guy, James. he's one of the most spectacular, disastrous people to come into my life. i'd like to start at the begining of my story...



thats James.

it started in lunch. I was single, after recently breaking up with krissy. I noticed a guy talking to the other boys at my table. this wasn't unusual, people always visited our lunch table. but this one looked different. my first impression was...well....wild. he looked odd in his uniform. restricted. like he was going to break out of some invisible shell at any moment. my secondary impression was danger. he was big, with unkempt hair, a deep voice and a menacing prescence.
he sat down at my lunch table. next to me. my third thought about him was sex.
I'm not sure how our first exchange of words went, but I remember everyone else at the table telling me that he was banished from the table previously, and that he was a hoe. armand was wrong, I didn't know what I was getting myself into.

day one.


ummm...where do I start? this is my first time writing a blog. hopefully I'll be able to commit to this.

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